Pap Mixes Metaphors In With The Occasional Fast Ball

Let's face it, Jonathan Papelbon isn't overburdened.  No, I do not refer to his comment the other night that it is a "no brainer" to want to play for a contender.  Papelbon has been making it clear for more than a year he wants out of Philadelphia.  Once you have $50 million in the bank, winning IS everything.

Instead, I refer to his statement a day earlier regarding rumors circulating the Phillies were trying to trade him:  "I don't have a crystal eight ball," Pap replied to a reporter's query.

Now we know language isn't one of Papelbon's strong suits.  Heck, he probably just made it out of high school English as a first language.  For the record, Johnny boy, what you uttered is a mixed metaphor.  You see, it goes like this:

One is "behind the eight ball" or one does/does not possess "a crystal ball".  Not both.  Eight balls are decidedly black, Johnny, while crystal balls are clear.  One refers to the game of pool; the other to the game of chance.  Now, in his defense, Papelbon was probably recalling the Magic Eight Ball he owned as a high school senior.

According to Wikipedia, Johnny, here are the possible answers to that reporter's question:

The 20 answers inside a Magic 8 Ball are:

● It is certain

● It is decidedly so

● Without a doubt

● Yes definitely

● You may rely on it

● As I see it, yes

● Most likely

● Outlook good

● Yes

● Signs point to yes

● Reply hazy try again

● Ask again later

● Better not tell you now

● Cannot predict now

● Concentrate and ask again

● Don't count on it

● My reply is no

● My sources say no

● Outlook not so good

● Very doubtful