Friday, July 11, 2014

Pap Mixes Metaphors In With The Occasional Fast Ball

Let's face it, Jonathan Papelbon isn't overburdened.  No, I do not refer to his comment the other night that it is a "no brainer" to want to play for a contender.  Papelbon has been making it clear for more than a year he wants out of Philadelphia.  Once you have $50 million in the bank, winning IS everything.

Instead, I refer to his statement a day earlier regarding rumors circulating the Phillies were trying to trade him:  "I don't have a crystal eight ball," Pap replied to a reporter's query.

Now we know language isn't one of Papelbon's strong suits.  Heck, he probably just made it out of high school English as a first language.  For the record, Johnny boy, what you uttered is a mixed metaphor.  You see, it goes like this:

One is "behind the eight ball" or one does/does not possess "a crystal ball".  Not both.  Eight balls are decidedly black, Johnny, while crystal balls are clear.  One refers to the game of pool; the other to the game of chance.  Now, in his defense, Papelbon was probably recalling the Magic Eight Ball he owned as a high school senior.

According to Wikipedia, Johnny, here are the possible answers to that reporter's question:

The 20 answers inside a Magic 8 Ball are:
 It is certain
 It is decidedly so
 Without a doubt
 Yes definitely
 You may rely on it
 As I see it, yes
 Most likely
 Outlook good
 Signs point to yes
 Reply hazy try again
 Ask again later
 Better not tell you now
 Cannot predict now
 Concentrate and ask again
 Don't count on it
 My reply is no
 My sources say no
 Outlook not so good
 Very doubtful

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