Saturday, April 06, 2013

Record Setting

Google engineers report there were a record number of searches in the Delaware Valley yesterday afternoon for synonyms for the word "slaughter".

Funny, I wasn't among those searching.  The word "humiliating" immediately leaped to my mind and I found it more than satisfactory to express my feelings about the Phillies home opener.

As I predicted earlier, while troublesome, the starting pitching wasn't their chief concern; nor were the late innings (who happily for them, never got a chance to appear).  No, the big problem would be middle relief and sure enough it was (wait, I need to consult my Thesaurus) pitiful.  No, wait.  How about "beerleague"?  No, wait.  I don't won't to cast any aspersions on that estimable blog.  Let's settle for non-existent.

Now, 33 years is a long time to harbor a grudge, but the Royals apparently did just that.  And with George Brett in the house, the newest incarnation of the "other" team that used to play in Philadelphia, roared back from a 4-0 deficit with the aid of some lousy (and expected to be so) fielding by Domonic Brown and some, well, non-existent middle relief.

Surely the Phils' alleged brain trust is already scouring the waiver wires.  You would have thought they had sufficient time since early February to work these things out, but they came north with these retreads, never-weres, has-beens and pretenders in the first place.  Help is probably not on the way.

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